God, Choices, Truth

When you, in a way, abandon what you’ve been taught and seek the truth for yourself, and you ruminate over this new possible way to believe, things happen.  You sweat over it.  You choose not to talk to God.  You fight with yourself and struggle with it.  You choose to think of life from an alternative perspective.  You begin to think, we’re all just here by accident.  You see the world as if you were isolated, completely on your own.  You think, when I die, I die, and that’s it.  You get depressed, and the people around you are gray and the words and days are gray.  But when you’ve been through all that and you still find the same answer, the fact that someone who matters completely knows and cherishes you—it becomes something else entirely, something real to you.  When God is yours and not someone else’s, and you realize He wants that for you, it’s salient.  It’s your choice, something you can fully embrace and comprehend.  It’s familiar and welcome… and authentic.  You’ve earned it, and it is your truth.